All the wifeys out there with a hubby on the road, raise your hand!
It's hard, right? Maybe you're not a mom yet and so you truly are the only one home when he's gone. Maybe you're like me and do have a little one, but you crave conversation with someone closer to your height. Whatever the case is, let's talk about it for a moment.
I'm going to attack with subject from two sides; from my side, and then my attempt at from his side.
From my side: my husband is gone typically Sunday evening through Thursday evening. Being a construction worker, he's always at a new job site which is usually several hours away from our home. Occasionally he'll have a break where he works in town (closer to home) for a week or two, but it never lasts long and then he's back on the road.
When we first got married, 4 years ago, I was working as a rehab assistant full time. I worked just about every weekend, typically capping out around 50 - 60 hours per week. He was out of town every week and was only home on the weekends. Because of our conflicting schedules, we didn't have the same day off for the first FOUR months of our marriage. We survived, but it was hard. I continued working crazy hours and attending college, and he continued going out of town every week for his job.
I wasn't around many people that I had close relationships with and I struggled a lot not having him home. Often times this frustration came out towards him, when it really wasn't his fault at all. We were both just doing our best with less than great circumstances. Still, we continued on made it through.
Fast forward a few years and we now have a beautiful daughter who is almost 2 and I have since stopped working the crazy long hours and am mostly home with her. My husband still frequently has to be out of town, and we miss out on a lot of family time together. There's a lot of growing going on for a toddler and he hasn't been able to here for all of it, which of course is hard and weighs on my heart heavily. We do make the most of our weekends. Whether it's just hanging out or a field trip to the park, we make sure we reserve that time to spend together, as a family.
From his side: he's gone pretty much every week. He stays in non-homey hotel rooms - often these hotels are very far from 5-star. He doesn't get to watch his daughter growing as closely as he'd like to, and he's limited to seeing his family through video chat. He comes home to a frustrated wife, trying hard to realize that her frustration comes from missing him so much. He works long hours, he's tired, he's a little bit grumpy. He tries to carry it on his own, and I try to help him carry it as best as I can by being a sounding board for him.
Moral of this post? A marriage with one spouse on the road is hard. It will always be hard, and will often feel unfair to both. Communicate with each other, let each other know you miss the other one and that you love them. If you're like me and you're the one waiting at home, try to communicate that your frustration isn't for them, but for the situation you're in and that you just miss them. Plan trips, take time off every once in a while, just spend time together. Work will always be there, but family time slips away so quickly through our fingers and before we know it, we'll be old and our children will be grown and we will have no memories to cherish.
One last thing, don't forget to keep God at the center of your marriage. God's saving grace is the glue keeping our family close together and helping to ease our frustrations and grow in patience and love. Without God, we are nothing. We are create by His love, to love each other as He loves us. Don't forget that your spouse is deserving of that love, too.
Stay beautiful, peace out, homies!
Mariah G.
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